Po the Panda's Adventures of Arthur Christmas/Transcript
This is the script for Po the Panda's Adventures of Arthur Christmas. Opening film starts at the Jade Palace. Po sits just outside it, watching the stars. Shifu comes out Shifu: Po. Do you feel like you are one with the stars? Po: around Oh, hi, Master Shifu. Uh, what does what you just said mean? Shifu: and sits down next to Po Po, stars are like dreams. We cannot touch them. But if we follow them, they will guide us to our destiny, like they did yours and mine. Po: Whoa. suddenly stands getting excited and having an idea Po: I'll get the five. Wait here. off-screen and calling to the Furious Five Hey, guys! You'll never belive what Shifu just told me! looks up at the stars and smiles Shifu: Oogway, if only you were here to share this. scene changes to a hilly countryside where a small town nestles in the middle. A little girl runs to a post box and posts a letter into it. It's addressed to Santa Claus the North Pole from Gwen Hines. The scene then changes to the North Pole with many country flags sticking out of a snow mount Gwen Hines: over Dear, Santa, are you real? If you live at the North Pole, then how come I can't see your house when I look on Google Earth? Are you Saint Nicholas? Because you'd be incredibly old. How do you have time to read all the letters from all the children in the world? And how many cookies and mince pies have you eaten in all of history? How do you get all the presents in the sack? Does your sack have to get bigger every year because of exponential population growth? And how do you get down the chimneys? I put my head in ours and it's really small. Even if you could squeeze down it in one minute there's nine houses in my road so that's nearly 10 minutes. And there are millions of roads in the world. It must be so hard being Santa these days. I mean, what if after all of that, I'm staying at Grandma's? Santa, how can you get round the whole world in just one night? My friend said that you'd have to go so fast it would make you and the sleigh and the reindeer all burn up. I think you are real. But how do you do it? For Christmas I would love a pink Twinkle Bike with stabilizers. But please don't bring it if it makes you and the reindeer burn. Love, Gwen Hines. 23 Mimosa Avenue, Trelew, Cornwall, England. pins Gwen's picture on a shelf and writes a reply Arthur Claus: over as he writes Dear, Gwen, thank you for your letter and brilliant picture. Your request for a pink Twinkle Bike will be passed on to Santa. And, yes, do believe in Santa. He is real. He's the greatest man ever. And he can get around the world to every child without a single reindeer being roasted ali... Hurt. By the time the sun comes up on Christmas Day, he'll get to you too using his special magic. scene changes to a starry sky. Columbia and Sony Pictures Animation presents, an Aardman Production. The camera pans down to Demark at night as the title comes up: Po the Panda's Adventures of Arthur Christmas. As we zoom down into the city itself, Mantis peeks out from behind a building Mantis: All clear. Furious Five, Shifu and Po join him Po: Whoa, Demark. Looks so beautiful when there's snow around you know. is a sudden rumbling noise and everyone looks at Po Tigress: What's that your stomach? Po: What? No. looks as the rumbling gets louder Po: into a fighting stance But whatever it is, be ready for some kind of attack. Furious Five and Shifu get into fighting stance. The rumbling noise stops and dozens of lights appear in the sky Po: Huh? drop down onto rooftops on ropes Crane: Elves? Really? Field Elf: First field elf battalion set. Female field elf: Straighten that teddy bear, soldier. Field Elf: Ma'am. Claus lands on a rooftop Christmas Dinner with Arthur and his family at the dinner table, Arthur opens a cracker and reads the joke Arthu Claus: "What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinselitis!" lsn't this the best bit of Christmas? Mantis: You bet. Margaret Claus: It certainly is, Arthur. The whole family together. Malcom Claus How about a toast, Malcom? Malcom Claus: Oh. up a glass Here's to me doing an even better job next year. Christmas: the Board Game and Steve are arguing over a game piece Gandsanta: I'm Santa! Steve: No, I'm Santa! It's ridiculous. You just took the piece out of my hand. Shifu: Please, both of you. I'm sure we can work a way to make this fair for you both. Malcom Claus: Well, I am actually Santa. So I rather think I should have it. Steve: Yes, you're the non-executive figure head. Crane: What does it mean? Grandsanta: It means a fatty with a beard who fits the suit. Po: Yeah, yeah, I get it. Because I'm so chubby, everyone calls me fat. Mantis: Like Shifu. stifles a giggle as Shifu glares at Mantis Arthur Claus: The other pieces are good too. Or I could make extra Santas for everyone. Malcom Claus: Why don't you be the candle, Steven? All those bright ideas, eh? Steve: Fine. I'm the candle. Arthur's the turkey, and you, father, are of course, Santa. Grandsanta, you can be this charming relic. Grandsanta: Relic? Relic?! I did the whole of Christmas in one of these, Arthur! Oh, yes! I didn't need a trillion elves in bleepy hats. Steve: We don't just fly about, throwing lead-painted toys down chimneys anymore. That space sends you back to Lapland. Grandsanta: Oi! Margret Claus: Malcom, where did you get those? Malcom Claus: Just moving things along. Do I win? Grandsanta: Cheats! The pair of you! Po: laughs Arthur Claus: claw marks on his mother's coat Mum, are you okay? Margret Claus: Polar bear, dear. Attacked me on the ice. Good job I did that online survival course or it would be one less for turkey next year. Grandsanta: Christmas has gone right down the Rodney hole. You're a postman with a spaceship. Steve: My S-1 festivises the world at 1860 times the speed of sound. Grandsnta: Christmas 1941, World War 2, I did the whole thing with six reindeer and a drunken elf! Po and the others I was shot at, Arthur and Friends. Took 12 direct hits. Lost 3 reindeer. Po: And what did happen to the elf? Grandsanta: Fell out of the sleigh over Lake Geneva. Never saw him again. Tigress: Whoa. Margret Claus: Goodness. Now, Christmas crackers. Sing 'Silent Night' backwards. Malcom Claus: Ha, wouldn't know that. rings the bell and sings in a different language backwards Grandsanta: I went on alone. I could still do it now, Arthur. Just give me a go! Steve: In a heap of sticks. Grandsanta: "Heap of..."? Let me up and at him! I'll show you, Robby the Robot! flips the entire game board over with his cane Po: Hey! Mantis: What'd you do that for? Grandsanta: I would have won anyway. HO-HO beeps and Steve looks at it Steve: looking surprised What? up and leaves Grandsanta: Oh Yeah. Run away now you're losing! A child's been missed!/Grandsanta's Idea walks through some metal doors Arthur Claus: Steve! slips as the doors slam on him but he opens them again and runs up to Steve & Mrs Claus' bedroom Malcolm: This figurehead thingy... Getting a new reindeer a used car shop in Idaho Grandsanta: T Tigress: Po, I am sorry, but this is simply out of the question. I do not want any part of this. This is classed as stealing! [ Losing the sleigh Bryony: It's Steve. He can help us. Grandsanta: Tell him I'm not here. beneath the controls Monkey: Steve Grandsanta says that he's not here. Steve: Hi. I'm looking for a missing relic. Po: Relic? What are you talking about? Steve Claus: The sleigh you're riding in now. comes out of hiding Grandsanta: Steve, three words... Steve Claus: Let me guess. Is the first word help? Tigress: Yes. Arthur Claus: You can help us, Steve. Grandsanta: Yeah, Steve. Frosty the madman. And his pets of his. They forced me to come. Arthur Claus: We forced you? Po: It was your plan. Arthur Claus: How was it my plan? Steve Claus: What did you want, Grandsanta? Let me guess. A picture of you in the sleigh delivering the gift to show me how it's really done? Crane: No. Steve Claus: You know the picture they'll have tomorrow? You, led away in handcuffs! And Arthur's weirdo friends all taken to the zoo! Po & Furious Five: WHAT!? Steve Claus: The Santa who was seen, By everybody on Earth. The Santa and the weirdo animals from China who ruined Christmas. Peter: Ruined it! Shifu: What are you talking about? We would never do that. Steve Claus: Look at the evidence: you're in the old sleigh, and the footage is on the news! Grandsanta: We'll fix this, Steve. We'll be back home in the wobble of a reindeer's buttocks. And Evie can go back in mothballs. You can forget she ever existed. Arthur Claus: You can't just go home. Viper: What about Gwen? Steve: Gwen. For that, you'd all threaten my whole operation? Tigree: Steve, you said if there was any way to get there, you would. Crane: Well, this is it. Look. The old sleigh is perfect! Arthur Claus: Right. Well, anyway, it goes really fast, even with bits missing. And we've got quite a few reindeer left. And, if l'm sick again, l could be sick in a bag. Bryony: l'll wrap him one. Monkey: We can help them. Mantis: No one missed, sir! Viper: All correct presents, present and correct. Tigress: lf you help us, Steve, we can do it! considers helping Arthur and Grandsanta and the others while Peter offers him a drink Elf: Grandsanta, the animals and Arthur would be the heroes of the night, sir! drops the drink in shock Steve Claus: Come home now! ALL of you! If we all just gave into Christmas spirit, there'd be chaos. Po: Steve's right. I think we should head back. Crane: What about the human girl Gwen? If Ryan and his friends did that before, so can we. Monkey: We can't just give up, Po. Po: But he's right. We have got to turn back! Shifu: Po, this is a bad idea. We're getting to this child now! Po: Depends; Would you guys rather be in the zoo, or in China? Arthur Claus: No! Santa will want us to get to Gwen. Ask him. Please. Steve Claus: Arthur, this is Dad we're talking about. There was a time where he cared about every last gift tag, but now... ...he just wants to be loved and get some rest. Tigress: But, he must care. VIper: He must be awake and worrying his beard off about Gwen right now! calls Santa Santa: HO-HO Ho-ho-ho. Off to the Land of Nod. Please do not disturb untill December 26th. Is that it? Mrs. Claus: HO-HO Yes, Malcolm. Just push the red-- gang stares in disbelief Mantis: Well, that is just great! Stranded in Cuba heroes are stuck on a beach in Cuba. Bryony tears the wrapping off Gwen's bike to make a campfire. Monkey: Stranded in Cuba, far away from Trelew in England. This is officially the lousiest Christmas i've ever experienced. Grandsanta: Poor Evie. Sun'll be up soon. up It's Christmas! Po: Yeah! Grandsanta's right, guys. It's Christmas! We're all together, as a family. That's what matters! Right, Arthur? turns to Arthur Arthur: sarcastic Christmas is for kids. You grow out of it. Bryony: What, in the last 6 minutes? Tigress: over to Arthur, sits down beside him and puts a comforting paw on his shoulder Arthur, look at me. I may be all grown up but I'm still a child at heart. cheers Arthur up a little walks over to Arthur Grandsanta: I'm sorry I've messed things up, lad. You see, the night I last took Evie out, when there was all that... fuss, your father came to me. I'll never forget it; couldn't look me in the eye. "Dad," he says, "Steve thinks it best you don't fly again. We're scrapping the sleigh." Me only son, who used to sit where you sit, looking up at me. I just wanted them to remember who I used to be. I was a bit like you, lad. Keen as cranberry. So was your dad. You get old. That's all. Everything... changes. Arthur Claus: Does it? Reaching the Sleigh/Santa and Mrs Claus set off Arthur Claus: Jingle Bells, this boat smells~ grunts 3000 miles to go~ Grandsanta: Oh, dear. l've seen this before. Sleigh fever, they call it. Pressure of Christmas sends a man doolally-tap. Santa Claus XVl got it, 1802. Every child that year got a sausage nailed to a piece of bark. Bryony: You do know we're going round in circles? Steve's voice on HO-HO: Crane: That Steve wouldn't even help us. Arthur Claus: [ Po: What good will worrying you do?! Arthur Claus: Come on, all of you! Worry me! Grandsanta: lmagine Gwen, all alone. Crane: And there's nothing under her tree. Arthur Claus: Here we go. Magic Dust on himself and starts to float up! No! Don't like this! Stop! Stop! Get me down! Po: The tears when she finds out that she's been left out. Bryony: Screaming "Santa didn't come!" Arthur Claus: Oh, Gwen! screams No! It's just too high! Monkey: and think of what will happen after Christmas! Bryony: Gwen in the street, surrounded by kids on new bikes, pointing: "That's the girl that Santa hates!" She runs away, alcoholic by the age of 9. Dead before she's even--! slaps his hand over her mouth Grandsanta: She may never build a snowman again! Arthur Christmas: [ [ Bryony: So. How come they didn’t scrap the sleigh? Grandsanta: I threatened the elves. Said I'd feed them to the polar bears. Tigress: widening I think I'll pretend I never heard that. [ Po: Elf, how would you feel when you tell his parents about this? [ the North Pole, Margaret is making the bed. Malcolm enters. Malcolm Claus: Margaret, hand me my me suit. All sorted. Steve's... holding the fort. [Steve is lying on his bed, reading a 'Executive Job Search' paper, whe he hears a clunk outside. He opens his shutter, and falls off his bed, gets up, and sees his S1 being moved from the window. He runs to the hangar door, carrying something in a covered package, and finds a sticky note Steve: "Popped out to take present. Turkey sandwich in fridge. Mum and Dad." [ Malcolm Clause: Uh.. Mimosa Avenue, Trelew. Steve: I was 8! You're my dad! Margaret Claus: For goodness sake! Arthur, Po, Shifu, the Furious Five, and Grandsanta are out there probably not wearing nearly enough layers, and you two are bickering over a big red toy? North Pole Meltdown/Government Shoot the sleigh North Pole COmputer: Are you sure you want to delete Christmas? Category:Transcripts Category:Transformersprimfan